Dear ZhenWei,

I guess you should know who this should be too, since this whole blog. Hey, you know, when the first time I met you, I didn't know I'll like you.

We were so similar in everything. The first time I met you, I clearly remembered you wearing your blue Sports and Wellness shirt, and you were outside the makan place area, on the phone, trying to spot me, while I am just right down the stairs, going up it, and then you spotted me, smiled, and hanged up the phone. We went to eat, and afterwards, everybody went separate ways, and you, Harry and Keith Li accompanied me to wait for my Japanese lesson. Four of us say inside makan place, and how harry is playing with photoshop and editing your face, and how you were spamming my Facebook wall, and facebook-rape my account. You all sent me to my japanese lesson classroom. After that, we texted.

There was another time when I was with my secondary school friends, and you were walking by the atrium. The previous day you was on facebook saying that I didn't see you when you were in school, and I didn't say hi to you. You said you remembered my name. When I saw you, you delibrately caught my attention, and pointed to yourself. I immediately stopped, and think back, before I said out your name. You laughed and smiled, and walked off. My friend just said I was silly, and i just keep laughing out loud.

The next few monday(s), we had another course dinner, and you accompanied me again. We went to the library, and chilled out. Starting talking craps, watching anime, and then playing with each other like there was no tomorrow. My japanese class friends joined me sometimes, but I just didn't really talked to them. You were with me, and they all teased me and said that you were my boyfriend. I smiled.

One of the monday, you told me you have CCA, so I decided to send you there before I go off for my own Japanese lesson. I send you to the field, and it was early. We settled down on the seat, and started complaining on who to text first later. You started talking about volleyball, about Reyne. That facial expression, I have never forgotten it. You were as though an excited little boy, anticipating his sport game everyday. And that was the first time you really caught my attention. Soon, time have came and it's time for me to go off for my lessons. We said goodbye and said you'll text me after your CCA. After my Japanese lesson,I decided to go to the track field to see you having your CCA. I walked towards the field, and suddenly the whole group of people that were training there just look at me. You know I'm shy at strangers. When they look at me, I stopped in my tracks, and just look at the field that was right in front of me, and tried to search for you. I stood there for a few minutes, before I turned and left.

That was the start of everything.

I told you about it, and how we seemed so excited about everything. It was new, and the feeling was so great. At that time, I didn't know that I have liked you, until I told you, and you realize it, and I realize it. I search for it, and I knew that, I like you.

We got together, faced ups and downs. But I only remembered the happy moments. I still remembered it was that day when I need to do this 2D Art assignment in class, and after that you came to school early. I went outside to find you, and we realize we've wear the same top and bottom colors. We laughed and you said that I copied you. We stood there and started talking, when Keith Png came by, and saw us talking and standing together. He went back in, and we looked at each other, "Oh shit," I went back to class, and everybody started to talk about us. Saying how they want to get us together in Bangkok.

There was some point of time when I need to enter your class to get the money for the class-tee-shirt. We look at each other, before turning away from each other vision and smile or blush. Sometimes when I passed by your room, I'll just turn in and take a glimpse of you, looking at what you do. Those times were the best, those times were the times when all the harsh things didn't happen at all. There was also a time when I told my dad to come to school just a little later because I wanted to spend some time with you. We walked hand in hand, taking one whole U-turn around the school just to have more time with you. I can remember everything. The time when I sat at the track field and waited for your CCA to end, the times when we went to atrium, and your friends saw us holding hands together, and we were just smiling. There was the point of time when we need to read the letter of past, and how I cried and thought of my ex, and you were having written communication. You promised to give me a hug, and you really did. But, you shyly turned away after you hug me. There was that time when I dress quite normal but to you you said I was pretty.

We broke up because of me. Somehow things got really complicated. We stopped talking, and then, we patched back, and we broke again.

The next time we patched, it was in Bangkok.

Amanda and everybody else could see that we still like each other. I still like you, you still "like" me. That's it. In them, they just wanted us to be together. In us? We wanted each other back, and we didn't think of the consequences at that time. Get back together, that was whatever it is in our mind. In the beginning of the trip, I keep going to 1901 because I wanted to see you, because I know you will be there. Although I know I won't get to talk to you, but I know that you will be there. Just having the distance between us shortened slightly is more than enough.

And then, that was the day. Amanda came into the room, pulled me out, and suddenly pushed me into the room that you were inside. I got jealous the fact that you and Amanda was so close to each other. She locked your shoulders of you right in front of me, and I just turned and talked to other people. I can't do anything at that time, you wasn't my boyfriend. All I know was, it hurts, inside. I got inside, and keep banging on the door to ask them to get me out. He told me to sit on the bed, and I sat at the edge, he told me to keep closer, and then suddenly he passed me the laptop. We started chatting on it, and we just looked at each other, smiling as each time we passed the laptop to each other. It was nostalgic. That time, I thought, "How long did we not talk to each other?" And then, you assured me of everything that I was worried of. From not been able to be friends when we break up till unsureness that I had of a relationship to the trust I will be feeling. You told me that you will stand by me, be there for me whenever I have anything. You said you'll be there for me.. You said that. And I agreed to try to be your girlfriend once again. We hugged each other, before we hold hand after such a long time. First time was a mistake, second time is a choice.

We got together. We left the room hand in hand and everybody just laughed and congratulated us. I smiled, and hugged Amanda so tightly. I was so happy that night. That was the first time, I felt that you will probably treat me right. No, you will treat me right. You was about to left room when Amanda forced you to hug me. Immediately, you put your bag down, and came towards me and hugged me tightly. You slowly left the room, and I looked at you, leaving the room, as the room door closes. That night, I had the sweetest dream and sleep ever.

We went for the bridge visit, and I was scared of height. You hold my hand tightly, and you guided me through the bridge. That was the time everybody would know that we are together. I felt so happy. I didn't care the fact that everybody know, in fact, I wanted the whole world to know that you were my boyfriend, and I'm proud of it. We went to BigC and Tesco together, we spend almost all of our times together. Shopping, washing dishes, choosing food, playing our laptop, doing our work. Everything.

Those times were like a whole new experience to me and I really enjoyed it. I love the times, and I didn't want them to end. You were like everything to me, and I thought you treated me the same. The times we went to school, how we talked on twitter, how we chatted with each other through whatsapp. How everybody teased me and you that we should get together before we got together. How caring you were when you lend your jacket to me and I didn't want to let go of it. How your touch can be so electrifying, suffocating, and gentle. How everything resides inside my head. How perfect you were.

Great times end. We came back from Bangkok, and everything starts to settle in. No more seeing each other with just a 3minutes walk away. No more late meetings at night. When we get back to Singapore, reality settles in, and we started to distance ourselves away from each other, not only because we're not studying in the same class, but also the fact that volleyball training of yours have come in, and it's even more hectic than before. To think of it, I started liking you is because you were in volleyball. Your face and expression that talked about volleyball. Your passion for it. I love you for that. I love you... for everything you had.

From then till now, I still love you. It's like a never ending. For me to stop liking someone, it's to like another person. MY feelings can't die off like this, and I'll never confess to someone if I don't know whether I like that person. From a mere stranger, fate brought us to know each other through the course. We got the same interests, and that was what linked us together. That interest made us talk to each other more, and eventually, it makes me want to learn more about you. Once I learn more about you, I want to know more on what other people don't know about you. And after that, I want to keep that secret of you throughout the rest of my life. The you that you were with me, was perfect. At least to me. I'm not weak, I'm just accepting the fact that I love you, and up till now, I will not be able to forget you, not unless someone like you appeared again in my life, and pulled me away like how you did from my ex.

It will be lying if I say that talking to you doesn't hurt me. Your every single reply makes my heart skipped once. I'll be lying if I say I don't love you anymore.

I still love you, till the day that another person appears in my life and takes over your position. But... I don't think it'll be that easy. I hope you're happy with your life, your studies, and everything.