Been awhile since I type in my blog and I feel so perplexed.

It hasn't been a month, and i am already so in love.

It's so tiring. Whenever I see him and her so near each other, I bound to feel that lost of belonging. It's like as though I am envious, and at the same time jealous but I can't do anything at all. What's wrong with been such a terrible person with such emotions like this.

Seriously, I can't take the fact you and her are so close and that I am so jealous of both of you. I hate it more when two of them comes into the room and talks to you with me around and I have nothing in common. To them, I am like just a freshie in the room.

That thought of you telling me that if i came in last year, you probably like her already. And now I am over here getting jealous for i don't know why even though you are mine.

Daichi, I am scared. Really scared that you'll leave me like how others do. I have never felt this scared as I am compared previously. I don't want to be the one who's the only one so scared to the point that I will release to release myself from suffering. That's the most bad situation I could ever think of.

I am scared, scared that you will no longer be by my side, or I will be scared that the other more attractive girls will attract you even more than I do.

Emotions are running through my head, it's overtaking my conscious, so much to the point that I can break down there and then. It hurts so much to think that you're beside me but then so far away from me. You're like on the same island on me, but yet when I try to reach out for you, nothing seems to be returning to me.

For some reasons, when you're near me, my heart just seems to be pumping. I can feel my heart pumping when i place my hand onto my chest. It's so loud, louder than usual. Louder than anything else. It's aching, it's crying, it's screaming for help.

I wonder who can pull me out of ths agony. Like I need a warm light to shine on me, and hug me, and tell me that everything is okay. Everything is fine, and ask me to stay strong.